Stop playing games with my heart!

I had three slices of pizza for dinner, and two slices of cake because I was starving before dinner. And now I'm having trouble farting. Probably shouldn't be writing about this, but all hail freedom of speech.

I feel impregnated by gas, probably because I'm trying too hard to push it out. And this is all too much information, but just so you know, gas gives terrible heart aches, the kind that make Shehbaz Sharif feel like he's having a heart attack.

Too. Much. Pain.